Oh and in other news i’m wearing underware this weekend.. for the first time in 5 years…! it feels weird but i think i can get used to it again.

Morland Sanders investigates the credit card fraudsters, and straight away you learn that he isnt no Roger cook, rather a limp wristed, hairspray coated wannabe. On reflection he would have been better suited to some sing-along childrens program - i wonder if CITV are hiring?

Back to the plot. It seems that in 2007 plastic card fraud alone cost £535m, an increase of more than £100m over 2006 (figures published by APACS, the UK Payment Industry) and, apart from sending spongebob square head to give him a damn good talking to, what are we doing to help combat ‘card not present’ fraud?

Ive compiled a list..

• The government has allocated £29 million to be spent through 2010 putting into place the recommendations made in a cross-government fraud review conducted by the attorney general.
• A new fraud strategic authority will lead the battle to fight fraud in the UK, and a new fraud reporting centre will improve police intelligence about fraudsters targeting this country.
• A national lead force for fraud will enhance police work on fraud cases.
• The Home Office and the Corporation of London are each contributing additional resources towards the cost of an expanded City of London Police fraud squad and are both contributing just over £1.12m in 2007/08. This money helps the City of London Police expand its fraud squad so that it can better take on organised crime, and take a leading role in the investigation of fraud in London and the south east.
• Setting up a Dedicated cheque and plastic crime unit (DCPCU) This specialist police unit that we helped establish, aims to reduce organised card and cheque fraud using intelligence provided by the card industry, which funds it.

Thats great, and i know im no fraud expert, but im willing to offer my advice free of charge. How about..

• ONLY SHIPPING TO THE CARDHOLDERS ADDRESS??! - making this one change would stamp out 95% of all card not present fraud, sure it would be a little inconvenient for some, but a small price to pay.
• Texting the registered card holder the transaction so they have to reply to authorise it
• replacing chip and pin with thumb print readers - having the print stored on a central server rather than the card.
• embedding the card holders photo onto the credit card.

I know that the last two points would be expensive to roll out, but with the fraud costing £500 million a year and rising, im sure they wouldn’t have to wait long for the return on investment.

There seems to be a trend in the UK of putting all our resources into ‘catching the crooks’, instead of preventing the crime in the first place. - Its the CCTV, Speed camera mentality… clearly we are not bothered about the crime actually happening, but reactively catching the crooks (or not) after the event. SURELY its better to take away the ability to commit the crime in the first place?!

Just seems common sense to me..

This happened to me today.. well not just me, i estimate around 120,000 people. At just after 3pm the internet in the office went down and refused to reconnect. The line was stable, but just no internet at the end of it. Shortly after getting annoyed we get a call from someone else in a different area also finding themself without the world wide web.

We investigate further and find that a whole heap of area codes are experiencing issues with their net links. (See below)

^{01206 01227 01245 01255 01279 01284 01303 01322 01328 01342 01362 01375 01376 01379 01449 01473 01493 01508 01580 01622 01634 01689 01702 01708 01728 01760 01787 01795 01843 01986 01992 0203022 0203066 0203069 0203073 0203132 0203200 0203205 0203208 0203219 0203222 0203223 0203225 0203229 0203243 0203245 0203248 0203260 0207001 0207005 0207068 0207093 0207159 0207168 0207209 0207252 0207255 0207277 0207307 0207323 0207363 0207366 0207436 0207462 0207469 0207474 0207510 0207513 0207515 0207517 0207531 0207536 0207537 0207538 0207580 0207631 0207636 0207637 0207639 0207712 0207719 0207732 0207867 0207987 0208141 0208177 0208215 0208220 0208221 0208227 0208252 0208257 0208262 0208270 0208279 0208281 0208298 0208299 0208300 0208301 0208302 0208303 0208304 0208306 0208308 0208309 0208314 0208331 0208342 0208362 0208363 0208364 0208365 0208366 0208367 0208373 0208418 0208470 0208471 0208472 0208475 0208480 0208491 0208493 0208498 0208502 0208503 0208504 0208505 0208506 0208508 0208510 0208517 0208518 0208519 0208523 0208524 0208525 0208526 0208529 0208532 0208533 0208536 0208539 0208548 0208550 0208551 0208552 0208556 0208558 0208559 0208586 0208590 0208592 0208595 0208596 0208597 0208598 0208599 0208690 0208693 0208801 0208808 0208821 0208880 0208885 0208923 0208924 0208925 0208926 0208928 0208980 0208983 0208984 0208985 0208986 0208988}
Its not a small list is it?! - and thats areas with outage.. so for every area there is obviously a number of houses / companies. - and yet the most detailed infomation on what happened i can find is..

^{Service has been restored by completing a}

^{SELECT ONE OF THE OPTIONS BELOW
———————————–}

^{Card Reseat}

^{This issue may have been due to}

^{SELECT ONE OF THE OPTIONS BELOW
———————————–
a Cable Fault
your Power Failure
your Planned Works
a Data Fault
a Denial of Service (DOS) Attack
an Equipment Failure
a Fibre Fault
a Hardware Failure
an Internet Virus
Third Party Damage
a Power Failure
———————————–}
Helpful… NOT…. surely an outage of this size should have been covered on a news site, well, at least the register… I can only assume BT have had some unwanted visitors at a large exchange again, and helped themselves to a large selection of the latest routers and copper wiring.

Hey, BT… thought about putting some alarms in these places? - or maybe some Network cameras? pfff.

Hang on – haven’t we been here before 1984, 1989 and 2004 as I recall…. Band Aid I, II and 20 (what happened 3-19?!) the orginal band aid helped raise an obscene amount of cash thanks the exploits of that scruffy Geldoff bloke.

I thought I would do some research and find out actually how much was raised… I remember hearing figures of £10million back in the day although now it seems all financial data has disappeared. Weird eh?I cant believe that they have spunked the countless millions that have been raised and donated over the years – there has to be another reason why they are back to where they started 25 years ago.

There is, and it’s the population issue. Because the selfish f**kers cant see past their genitals they just keep pumping out Aids infected malnourished offspring like its some kind of ‘repopulate the earth’ drive. Why, oh WHY, if you cant afford to feed yourself would you keep having children? How could you knowingly bring a child into this kind of environment?

The other reason for the population explosion is better medical provision than before with immunisation programmes (for killer diseases like polio), better birthing facilities, more widely available medicines and medical expertise. – Thanks to our original charity payout they are living longer but still dropping kids like starbucks waste water.

So, to recap.. We give them a bucket load of cash, help, and volunteers for 25 years and they repay us by doing NOTHING to help themselves. And now we need to help them again? – No. unless some kind of birth control can be introduced they will just continue to suck on financial resources like a crack head on benefits. 
We have enough problems of our own at the moment without worrying about a country that cant be bothered to help itself.

If like me, you have LONDON as a network - think of the amount of people that now have access to your account without your approval. I suggest you click on the following link http://www.new.facebook.com/privacy/?view=profile and update the piss poor default security settings so that only FRIENDS can view your profile.

‘This is the most important thing in my life..’

‘It means the world to me..’

‘All i want to do is sing, thats all ive ever wanted to do..’

‘im gonna win this for my dead aunt/nan/dad/mum/sister….’

times the above quotes by 700 per episode, chuck in some painfully long pauses while the mentor dicks with their emotions in front of the camera and you’ve pretty much got Xfactor.

oh there is some singing occasionally too.

I dont know how Apple manage it but with only a few buttons / controls they seem to have mastered the human interface, i mean, could you imagine trying to use a windows machine with just ONE mouse button?!

At the moment i want XP back, maybe its just because i dont like change but i cant help noticing how much more of an effort everything is to get to - endless reams of options before you get to the setting you actually want. Add and remove programs in XP control panel was nice and easy, Vista calls it ‘Modify programs’ - how can uninstalling something be modifying?! - its just confusing.

Also, i think the added security features on Vista are a waste of time, asking the end user if its ok for a program to change something is just stupid as it just means there are more clicks to rush through saying YES from the ignorant user, and the same from a user who knows what he/she is doing. Why cant i disable this? - if i can, where is the damn option?

Its been proved time over that its the ignorance and/or stupidity of the end user that causes most bad stuff to happen. I see it everyday, people get an email, ‘oh whats this?’ (double click) ‘ooh here is the pictures attached..’ ooh, what pictures… (double click) *INFECTED*

Maybe Microshaft should spend some money on making a ‘guide to not being completely stupid’ for less seasoned users and less money on trying to rip off Apples GUI.

Just a serving suggestion you understand…

Tommy the Type-R has so far only been used for shortish journeys (20 miles or less) and id never taken it on a motorway so today would be a good test of how the car behaves on a long journey. When I had mentioned that the type-R was my next choice of transport I had a wave of people warning me about the harsh ride, loud engine and poor fuel economy on long journeys and I am pleased to announce that they got 2 out of the 3 wrong.

The M25 was blocked from brook street roundabout (Brentwood) so I crazily suggested going up the a12 and then cutting across Braintree and then onto the A120, to finally get on the M11. In my head this was a wonderfully simple plan with no consequences what so ever. This would have been the case if I hadn’t thought I was smarter than my Sat-nav – it told me to come off at Braintree but the miles to destination was still ticking down on the A12, so I thought I could just keep going up and then cut across later.

No sooner had I passed the suggested turn off when the dreaded words appeared on the screen ‘recalculating’ – it then jumped from 59.1 miles remaining to 66 miles. Doh. The A12 is a fantastic road when its sunny – the new wide bit just begs an opening of the throttle. Having never opened up the Type-R for top end action I was looking forward to seeing what he had to offer and the decision as to if I go lead foot or not was helped by a 54 plate Subaru WRX STi attempting an undertake maneuver.

I didn’t think for one second I would stand a chance against the 2 litre turbo charged rally hybrid, I just wanted to get past the guy that was slowing me down and causing the Scooby to try and undertake the pair of us. So, I drop it into 3rd, swing into lane 1 and floor it.

The revs flicked round in the bat of an eye, we hit the vtec and now we are most definitely the wrong side of 70. I stay in lane one as the road ahead was empty in both lanes, I check behind me expecting to see a mirror full of Subaru bonnet scoop but I didn’t.. he was about 2 car lengths behind me, AND NOT GAINING!! – I could not believe it. How was that even possible? 240 odd bhp compared to Tommy’s modest 197? – I keep my right foot planted as I know as soon as I lift of I will have Scooby in my boot and the gap stays the same – there is an empty lane beside us but he hasn’t gone into it because he’s trying to use my slip stream to gain an advantage (because clearly his turbo charger wasn’t enough!!).

We get to a crazy speed where Janet’s threshold was reached and she asked for me to stop – so I just let off the accelerator and start to slow. I move over and let the Scooby past we both wave to signal that we acknowledged each others efforts. It was a fantastic performance by the Civic, one that pleased me no end.

The ride isn’t as harsh as I was expecting. The seats are very comfortable and as I have suffered a back injury in the past its very rare that I can sit for nearly 2 hours without it giving me a little ache – the seats themselves much more comfortable than the Golf I had been used to. As for the ride… Yes you can feel the road surface changing with your feet on the floor pan of the car but other than that It was perfect.

It felt solid, composed and not too harsh (something that’s hard to achieve with a sport suspension setup) Noise wasn’t too bad either, certainly no worse than the golf at 70-80mph. I will admit that when I was ‘driving it like I rented it’ it was noisy – but at triple figures you’d expect any car to be making some kind of noise, and once you’ve hit the V-tec that’s the whole point!

Fuel economy I wasn’t so impressed with we appeared to use nearly a tank full for the round trip of 120-150miles although I have to admit I kept the car at around 90-99mph which is 5000rpm even in 6th gear – perhaps if I had stuck to 70 it would have been a little better. Im sure the blat with the Scooby didn’t help but what’s the fun in a long drive if you cant give it the beans once in a while 

A very enjoyable drive with 3 pleasant surprises’.

1) We saw off a Scooby !
2) We didn’t have our spines shattered by poor ride quality
3) Janet’s threshold has once again increased!

I am now looking forward to many more road trips with Janet and tommy.

She first ‘found out’ she had the big C whilst in the big brother house in India. Yehhhh Righhttt… PR stunt anyone?

If you know me, and know whats happened in my life you will know that i dont muck around with anything todo with Cancer, its a serious subject, one that has ripped MY family apart as well as others.

But the way this woman (and her PR team) are dealing with this makes me funking SICK

I haven’t been to a proper concert in my life, well, I did go see jean michel jarre many moons ago but that’s just a big laser show with stoned geeks and I guess it cant really be used to draw a parallel. There was some discussion as to if I should drive, Janet suggesting that it would be far easier to get the numb-brain train. We ended up with a compromise which meant me parking my beloved at Newbury Park station.. you know that UNMANNED car park right in the heart of Essex Bronx, ala Ilford..

With much deliberating and a few tears I was dragged away from my freshly purchased automobile and headed off into the train station. As soon as we were on the train Janet started doing her tourist bit and taking pictures of us on the train.. and although not completely evident in the picture, it did make me laugh.

We arrive at Earls Court with plenty of time to spare and decide to grab a bite to eat from one of the quality food vendors around the complex. Hot dog it was called, im sure the Hot part of the title was purely for irony and as for the dog part – quite possibly, cos it sure as hell wasn’t pork. Janet took one bite and decided that continuing wasn’t within the best interests of her digestion system and promptly handed me the remainder to dispose of.

It seems that Janet and I have different opinions of what is an acceptable action when asked to dispose of an item of food.

My version is if someone hands you food, its fair game, and if im still hungry then I will dispose of it, internally.

Janets version is that if she hands me food, ive already eaten and therefore couldn’t possibly still be hungry so I should dispose of the food in the trash. No questions.

Anyway, after the food thing we headed up to our seats, asking for some help locating them along the way. The nice stewards kind of chuckled and just pointed vaguely when they saw our seat numbers.. not a good advert for the quality of location we think. When we get there however I was pleasantly surprised – we had a good view of the whole stage. I mean ok, we couldn’t shake the guys hand from where we were without the aid of a 200’ arm extension but for visuals it was perfect.

The show itself was fantastic, I loved it. He really made an effort to involve the crowd and the lighting / special effects / visuals were stunning. My only complaint would be that he didn’t do a lot from the album that I remember him best for, Listen without prejudice but I guess it wasn’t mainstream enough for him to include into the playlist.

I had to laugh at the crowd, mainly gay men, gay women or overweight middle aged women wearing shiny gold outfits that should have been at bingo. (Me and janet are of course the exception to EVERY rule….!)

We left while the last song was playing as to avoid the crowds on the train. We got back to Newbury Park at midnight and I am releaved to report that Tommy the type-R was completely unmolested and sleeping peacefully.

If you are one of my facebook friends you can view the few pics that we took here and if your not, then i guess your out of luck

Top evening

One has to ask, why the hell would he want to come back - surely hes better off just sliding away to a country far far away where people wont know him (or try to bottle him!). What the hell is there for him to come back to? - why have they even released him?

Glitter was found guilty in March 2006 of offenses against two Vietnamese girls, aged 11 and 12. He had denied the charges, saying he was teaching the girls English. Yehhh right… Perhaps he should have waited until they where old enough to be ‘taught’

2 years for raping 2 GIRLS is a piss poor piece of justice but even more sickening when you take their ages into consideration. The man should have fried for the offences he committed. Yet further evidence that it doesn’t matter what you’ve done wrong.. as long as your famous, you will be let off lightly.

_{** Update **}

_{Jokes added, with some amusing pictures too…}

• Gary glitter has a date for his release. Shes 8 but with make up she easily passes for 12.
• Glitter spotted thrown out to sea…Apparently seen bobbing up and down on a small buoy
• He would have got away with it if it wasn’t for those pesky kids
• Phone conversation overheard in the lounge:

Glitter: (calling Pete townsend) Hi mate, what’s the chances of staying at your place until all this blows over? 

Pete: Sure thing, How about I get a load of stuff in to keep us occupied, some Disney DVDs?

Glitter: Yeah sure, what are you thinking?

Pete: Oooh, how about we get Aladdin?

Glitter:…… Don’t you think I’m in enough trouble already?

• I heard Gary Glitter was spotted with Pete Townsend on the beach……Apparently a fight broke out - Gary’s last words were “Oi - get out of my sun”…
• Remains of 5 children have been found in Vietnam, Police said no to a murder enquiry as they say it’s impossible to date the ramains. Gary Glitter said he is willing to try!
• Gary Glitter has been arrested in Thailand, drugs officers found Class A in the kitchen, Class B in the lounge and class 5C in his bedroom
• I heard that Pete Townsend offered Glitter 28yr olds… he asked what so good about 28year olds???????  Pete said “well theres 20 of them so we have 10 each!!!
• Don’t you find it strange that in the 1970s, 10 year old girls had posters of Gary Glitter on their bedroom walls..?Now, in the 21st century it’s the other way round!

Click on image below for larger version.

Top blokes - also… if your into that kinda scene, oldskool mixes and the like, you could do a lot worse than logging on to their swanky new website and streaming some quality audio-idge.

23,654 miles, 3 door hatchback Honda Civic Type R, 2004, Night Hawk Black, petrol, manual, ABS, Air conditioning, electric windows, Alarm, Alloy wheels, Body coloured bumpers, Drivers airbag. 1 previous owner, Full Honda Service History, HPI cleared last year, 11 months MOT and 2 new Bridgestone tyres. Excellent condition throughout.

Phwarrrr!

Renault Laguna 3.0 24v V6 Dynamic (2003) 67,000 miles

• Clean, Comfortable and quick.
• E/M, E/W, C/L, Half Leather seats, Dual Zone climate control, ALARM,
• Trip computer, MFD, Automatic sports Gearbox with selectable tiptronic manual.
• Comes with professionally fitted Nokia 610 Bluetooth car kit (remote screen)
• 11 Months MOT and Tax + recent AC refill.
• Company van forces reluctant sale.
• 210bhp and your family can come too! 

£3200 ovno - Check http://www.pistonheads.co.uk/sales/661819.htm

Job, Car, Home, Plans. All changed! - The only thing left unchanged is Janets job.. thats staying put.. or is it?! *gasp*

All in the interests of moving forward, which is very much the new chosen direction for the HariMans. Done some number crunching and the Audi S4 that i was struggling to justify has now been dumped in favour of a smaller, lighter, more sensible hatchback to keep the outgoings lower than the incomings. - More on this soon.

In other news, ma widdle sister came to visit at the weekend. She lives somewhere south of the water now and has driven back to essex about 3 times since moving. I think the fact that shes never used the same route twice is noteworthy, and even more so how she manages to completely MISS the A12 after coming out of the blackwall tunnel. LMFAO!

Anyway, i realise this post was neither interesting or gross. Sorry about that, normal service will be resumed shortly when i explain my anger for ‘fem-fresh’ wipes. *evil grin*

Again…. its an advert that has driven me to blogging. This time however i believe the subject matter will be hard to top. Periods are one of the things that happen, we all know it happens, but we don’t need nor want to be reminded of it. Women bleeding from their lady garden to wash away unwanted / unused eggs. Dried, dirty blood mashed up in sweaty pubic hair and left to ‘bond’ for a few hours. Thanks for that image whilst I watch prime time TV and tuck into my mash and tomato sauce. Women need sanitary towels. Selling them must be the easiest job in the world.

If your a woman and you don’t have one of these devices you will simply leak out of your front bottom and onto whatever surface you happen to be standing over at the time, right? - So its within your interest to go LOOKING for these products. Advertiser’s don’t need to come looking for you. Using this theory, why cant women read about the benefits of the particular product through the wonders of a fact sheet, or even decent product labeling. NOT explained in full, gory detail to 5 million people eating their evening meal during the break of Coronation Street.

Just to add insult to injury…. what advertising genius thought of this latest gem? ‘have a happy period’ - yeh.. You soo know your target audience don’t you. How the f*** can anyone have a happy period?! - No one wants them; no one wants to be reminded of them.

Whatever next?!

 
Have a happy smear test…?!

URGHHHH!